For one of my best friends!

I remember sometimes when I was sad or upset, you would hold me while I cried and sing:


"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"


Thanks for that.

"You should write a book, How to Offend Women in 5 Syllables or Less"

Name the movie that quote is from, and you will be my hero! Hint – It’s animated.

This week was probably one of the toughest of my life. Friday night hit rock bottom, so Saturday morning, I got up and I drove. And I drove and I drove, 4 hours until I reached St. George, Utah. Thankfully my Grandpa Smith and Neva welcomed me without much notice! I loved St. George. First, it was warm!!! Provo is cold and rainy, snow is coming! 2^nd, it was gorgeous! I loved the high red mountains and rocks. I can’t wait to hike at Zion soon. I have never liked Utah, I’ve always thought it was hideous. But I want to live in St. George! Grandpa and Neva took me out a delicious dinner (with all the breadsticks I could eat!! My favorite), and then showed me around. It really made me appreciate God’s creations even more. The temple was stunning. It was brilliantly white, huge, and in the middle of the city. It really was picturesque. We drove the skyline and the view was breathtaking. Then Neva stuffed more food in me – peppermint ice-cream and I watched movies. I have been lonely in Provo, so it was nice to have someone dote upon me. The atmosphere was open and refreshing, a much needed break from crowded Provo. Thank you SO much Grandpa and Neva, ya’ll are amazing! I love you both so very much, and I will be back VERY soon!

I learned that I have a tendency to run away from my problems and fears. The drive to and from St. George gave me some quality time with myself and my Savior. I know that the rest of this semester will be tough, I will have to make big decisions and learn about who I am and who I want to become. The Lord really wants me to be patient, and learn to rely on not only him, but myself.

I wish I had taken pictures, but alas, I will have to resort to Google

Goodbye My Almost Lover

These are some things I've learned since I've been in college:

*I can sleep ANYWHERE: I have slept on those hard wooden benches, in an empty classroom ON THE FLOOR, sitting at a desk with my head straight down, etc. You learn that when you need a nap, it doesn't matter where you are.
*Free food is AWESOME: When there is free food on campus, I am THERE. So far I've gotten free hotdogs, papa john's pizza, jamba juice, and donuts. I feel so good when I don't have to spend money to buy lunch that day.
*I set three alarms everyday: my talking Mooshi alarm clock, my ihome, and my phone
*Complete strangers can instantly become your best friend. Case: Last week when I couldn't find the McKay building, I asked some random guy. I went on a awesome date with him last weekend, found out he was in my Stat class, he tutored me and BAM 94 A on my test!! Case: I yelled at some guy to hold the elevator for me and my roommate, come to find out he was in my church that day, fresh off his mission, and now I LOVE THIS GUY. He's awesome!
*My ipod makes walking to campus so much more entertaining. Half the time, I put in my headphones and don't turn anything on.....it's weird what people will talk about when they think you aren't listening.
*Bringing food to the testing center is essential, especially when it's for Stats!

Nothing Like Dry Cereal

I don't have any milk! Or any other food, so dry TRIX it is!
So big choices, big choices I'm thinking about. I THINK I've narrowed down to two choices for majors. I can do Exercise Science (specifically athletic training) or Family Life (specifically Human Development). I want to work with abused women and rape victims, or with athletes. Big difference huh? I just love doing everything. I've definitely learned a lot since I've been here though. Heavenly Father has taught me so much, in a little period of time. When I was first called to teach Relief Society, I laughed. I had been in Nursery for 3 years! I knew nothing about teaching Relief Society. But already, my testimony has grown so much, as well as love for my sisters. I've learned to rely on Heavenly Father and that I can't do it without his help. I went to the Provo temple this week and it was amazing! Although being in happy valley is very spiritual, there's no where else in the world that gets you closer to heaven than the temple, even a busy one like Provo. It is a little small for me, though.

And I have lost weight, going up and down those dang stairs! Someone told me it's like 104 stairs, and I go up and down them at least twice a day. AGH! I have to leave 30 minutes before class starts, just so I don't get all sweaty walking to campus.
For the first time since I've been in Utah, I feel like I made a best friend. Too bad, he doesn't live here. hah He's an RM who has been home a total of 5 DAYS! haha I know, but he's amazingly smart! I felt like part of my brain was shut off, and he totally activated it. He shared the gospel with me in a way that went deeper than most people, and wasn't dorky. I've never met anyone who has such a passion for the gospel and for other people. He makes me want to serve the WORLD!
So I'm making progress!! It's getting cold here too, which is a bummer. 8 am religion class is like 40 degrees! But I'm buying all my snowboard gear this weekend, so I'm stoaked. That was one of my goals this semester: master snowboarding! Hopefully videos will come soon!
Thanks to everyone who reads this, and has given me advice. I love you all!!!!

These three videos have stood out to me this week! Elder Holland and Uchdeforf (sp?) are my two favs!!!

Testimony of The Book of Mormon

Patience

Our True Identity

I started a blog a few years ago, but only to keep up with my married friends and family members. However recently, I read some blogs that have....inspired me to say the least. Don't expect these deep insightful entries though. I'm not great with words, or expressing my thoughts, but I would like to try.

Here I am, thousands of miles away from home at BYU in Provo, Utah. I don't know anybody here, and I'm always searching for a familiar face to bring me comfort. I loved Virginia. I was comfortable in Richmond, at VCU, and in the Singles Ward. But for some reasons I don't fully understand, the Lord wanted me here. Growing up on the East Coast, I stood out. I was that girl everyone noticed because of the way I dressed, spoke, and acted. Here, I feel just like everybody else. I blend in, and fall into the cracks. I didn't grow up like these girls out West - knowing how to tease my hair, do my makeup, and "get" guys. So I decided to focus on my academics and studying theater and dance.

I grew up around theater, and it's something I've always been in love with, whether I was the star of the show or backstage. However, I didn't start dancing seriously until way later in life. I was involved in everything performance wise in high school and I knew I wanted it to be a career. Then I came here. I found out - I'm not good. There are people here that are way better. That know the ins and outs of dramatic literature, that have had acting coaches and trainers. I was in class the first week and didn't have a clue what they were talking about.
Then there is dancing. Girls here having been dancing since they were 2 and definitely outshine me. I have the love and passion for it, just not the technical ability. I can't kick as high, stretch as far, or leap as long.
I don't know what to do. I thought I had everything figured out. I'm a Senior, I should be graduating soon, and I don't know what to major in. Once again, I was in the top of my class back home, I thought I was smart! I come here, and so is everyone else. I don't know what my talents are now. I don't know what I'm good at. I'm afraid to end up as one of those girls in el ed, that don't ever finish because they are just here to get married. I feel like everyone has their niche, except me. I don't want to lose my ability to stand out, but I feel like I'm barely treading water here. SCARY!

Hopefully writing my feelings will help me learn where I want to go. My goal here is to find out who I am and flippin what I should do with my life. I need to find some good friends. It's hard not having anyone to talk this stuff through with. I've tried to be optimistic and reach out to people, but no responses yet; super lame. But I won't give up. I'm here because I'm supposed to be, and I will make the best of it.

To the people who actually are reading this, thank you. Thanks for making me feel like you care. I promise, my future entries will be positive!